Ello to all! I am just playing around the computer and decided to update this thing I call a journal, lol. I am HYPER!!! I was doing a lot of thinking and some of it made me sad but most of it made me smile, lol. It was pretty weird. I mean I was up til 7am which is about when I passed out. Last night was a punk show and it was a really great time there. Got to hang out with my buds and meet some new people. I was skating with the bassist to Horizontal Orange, lol. What an awesome group!!! Anyways, I am heading out to see some peoples!! Love yall!!!

Well, looks like I will be attending any functions I want to attend. I'm not going to let a parent prevent me from having a fun year with my friends. I will be at the Trigg County game on Friday on the "Pep" bus as extra credit for Mrs. Harper, lol. Today was a pretty laid back day I guess. Noodles jumped off the computer and crushed my spleen cause I said something that I can't seem to remember right now, lol. But it was pretty bad. I want to tell Ashley that Rufio may have died out for sometime but will always be here...Rufio will make a comeback one day...I hope soon...Don't know what else to say other than...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...I hate being like this...Like if I put on a smile it means nothing cause I am not happy and won't be truly happy for sometime now...Today I actually smiled for once and it was meaningful...I hope I can do that again someday all the time. Well, I am out for now...I am supposed to be sleeping right now but I don't feel like sleeping so I will continue to play PS2 til I am tired enough...Goodnight all and I will update some more tomorrow on how my day went..Not like anyone reads this anyhow...

Everyday more and more Ashley's parents are bringing me to a breaking point...I hate Ashley being yelled at for me...about me....I'm so tired of everything...I'm breaking down and I don't know what or who  I am right now...Maybe someone can bring me back...doubtful...Not right mind would bring me back...Not now and not ever...I just need to accept that I will never be happy and that I am already dead inside...if not then I am slowly dying more and more everyday...well, I am off back to my corner where darkness awaits to greet me...

For you baby...

"Swear It Again (Radio Edit)"

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they're lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

[Chorus:]
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

All over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are something's in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

[Chorus]

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
The more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

[Chorus]

"She Will Be Loved"

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

Today was our first home game for football...We won 41-12! Oh Yeah! We kicked major ass! It was a great game to go to and I got to see my Kitty play for halftime! She did great! Got to hang out with a lot of people and I met a lot of new people as well. Wish I could of spent more time with her but there were "Technical Problems". Those who know whats going on know what I mean by that, lol. Anyways, I left the game with Kevin, Sean and Curtis and I talked to Smithy on the phone on the way back home. Today was just a great day altogether...Well almost but oh well on that subject. Thats completely something else that I won't put on here. Well, I am dead tired and have no PS2 to play since I let my mom borrow it with DDR. So goodnight and MUCH LOVES to someone!

I am updating since Im being told to update, lol. I stayed home from school today due to illness, however I will be at school tomorrow no matter what. Umm...I slept until 2:30 on and off and had some weird ass dreams within that time frame, lol. Enjoy the lyrics!

 

"Girl All The Bad Guys Want"

8 o'clock, Monday night and I'm waitin'
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me.
Her name is Lola, she's a rocker with a nose ring,
She wears a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means.

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.
She doesn't notice me!

Cause she is watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

She likes the godsmack and I like agent orange
Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
She says she'd like to score some reefer and a forty
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing.
She'll never notice me!

Cause she is watchin' wrestling
Creamin' over tough guys
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in her eyes

She likes 'em with a moustache
Racetrack season pass
Drivin' in a Trans-Am
Does a mullet make a man?

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!
She's the girl all the bad guys want!

There she goes again
With fishnets on, and dreadlocks in her hair
She broke my heart, I wanna be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked!

Now I am watchin' wrestling
Tryin' to be a tough guy
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in my eyes
I can't grow a moustache
And I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped...moped....moped.....

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.

'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
(There she goes again)
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
(There she goes again)
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!
'Cause she's the girl all the bad guys want!

Ashley's parents have just ruined my day...One day that I was perfectly happy and it is all gone cause of them...It will be the death of me not being able to talk or see her....prolly what her parents want anyways of me....death...